Rediscovering You: The Power of Asking “What Do I Want?”

Last week, I found myself staring at my to-do list, filled with tasks for everyone but me. It hit me: when was the last time I asked myself, “What do I want?” This simple question felt almost foreign, yet incredibly powerful.
This experience got me thinking about how often we, as women, put ourselves last. It’s time we talked about the importance of self-consideration as a resilience strategy.
The concept of asking “What do I want?” is more than just self-indulgence; it’s a crucial aspect of self-awareness and personal growth. Yet, for many of us, it’s a question we struggle to answer.
Hannah is a client I work with who epitomizes this struggle. A successful executive and mother of two, Hannah realized she couldn’t remember the last time she made a decision purely for herself. “I feel like I’ve lost touch with my own desires,” she confessed. “Everything I do is for my family or my team at work. I don’t even know where to start with what I want.”
Does this resonate with you? When was the last time you made a decision based solely on your own wants and needs? Or maybe you do put yourself first but find it’s not always easy.
Asking yourself “What do I want?” is not selfish; it’s a powerful act of self-care and a key to building resilience. By reconnecting with our own desires and needs, we refuel ourselves, enabling us to better handle life’s challenges and continue supporting others.
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Here are a couple of strategies Hannah and I worked on together:
Daily Desire Check-In: We established a daily practice of asking “What do I want?” in different areas of life. Hannah started with simple choices like “What do I want for breakfast?” She laughed because the question seemed so simple, yet she had given in to eating the pancakes her kids always asked for, which wasn’t her “choice”. Gradually she moved to bigger questions. This helped her reconnect with her preferences and desires.
For example, Hannah realized she wanted to start her mornings with a quiet cup of tea instead of frantically standing by the counter eating the rest of her son’s breakfast. Getting up earlier to do this when the house was still quiet significantly improved her mood and energy throughout the day.
Why not try this yourself? Start your day by asking “What do I want from today?” and see how it shifts your perspective.
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The ‘Me’ List: Hannah created a list of things she wanted just for herself, ranging from small indulgences to bigger life goals. She revisited and updated this list regularly, using it as a reminder of her personal aspirations.
One item on Hannah’s list was learning to paint. So she signed up for a weekly art class, something she had wanted to do for years but never prioritized. Here is a PDF to create your own 'Me' list.​
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Bach Flower Wisdom
CeratoIn terms of Bach flower remedies, Cerato can be particularly helpful for those who have a hard time tuning in to their inner voice. It can help you trust your own judgment instead of asking others for advice.
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This week, I challenge you to ask yourself “What do I want?” at least once a day. Start with small decisions and see how it feels to prioritize your own desires.
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I’d love to hear from you. What’s one thing you want just for yourself? How does it feel to acknowledge this want?